Tag Archives: marriage

Emily Stulman Klein of Live a Joyful Life on Marital Success

#HipNJ has teamed up with Emily Stulman Klein, founder of Live a Joyful Life, to help women  be successful in their marriages.

The following comes directly from Klein, and we hope it can inspire you today!

Getting married is EASY!  There are magazines, websites, books, shops, trained professionals, a millions resources to support you on your journey. From special bridal bootcamp yoga so your biceps will rock in your sleeveless gown to your very own wedding planner who will run your day with marine like precision, sporting everything from breath mints to black socks and everything in between.  Millions of women before you have walked in your white satin shoes.  And while some things have changed over time, themes, destinations, wedding for a cause, eco friendly, all in all, GETTING married is easy.
Your role is clear and defined, blushing bride, resplendent in white.  You’ve selected with care the venue, the rings, the honeymoon. You’ve choreographed everything from the entry music to the morning after brunch, without skipping a beat.  But when you return from exploring Marrakesh or hiking in Machu Picchu or lolling around your private bungalow in Bora Bora the real adventure begins. Your adorable fiancé is now your very real, ’til death do us part, sidekick for life.
The big question is no longer, “Will you marry me?”. That’s old news. The current and significantly more important query is “Now what, and how are we going to do this without getting completely lost in the process?”
At first, it’s fun, great even. The life of a newlywed is divine.  Husband, check. career, check-check, dual incomes, check-check-check.  You retain your identity, along with the newly minted “wife” title. You still have girls night, client meetings, all the parts of life that nourish and belong to you and you alone, in addition to the married couple world you’ve entered.  It’s the two of you against the world.  It’s terribly romantic.  You can’t even imagine what they were talking about when they said marriage was hard. Then one day, it hits you like a ton of bricks.
Usually it’s when you start a family, especially if you are “lucky enough” to give up that career of yours and stay home.  There is something about parenting that magnifies all the things you thought you talked about when you were planning your life together, if you had the cursory talk about what that would look like.  Then one day you open your mouth and your mother comes out. You close it horrified, looking around to see if anyone heard. Where did THAT come from, you wonder.
Each of you has your own blueprints and ideas about what married life will look like, and who will do what and then one day you’re home watching Elmo for the eleven millionth time in a row and he’s late because he’s stuck in traffic and you think “Shoot! What I wouldn’t give to be stuck in traffic, alone” and you find yourself jealous, angry, overwhelmed, unsatisfied. The thing you want more than anything in the world is 5 minutes to go to the bathroom by yourself and you think, “This is NOT what I signed up for”. Actually, it’s exactly what you signed up for, but it doesn’t have to be that way, I promise.
Enter, the pre-marital vision statement. It doesn’t sound very sexy but hear me out. It is, a wonderful, loving strategy to a happy and supportive life together. Some couples pre-marital tactic is the prenup, which by definition presupposes that the marriage won’t last. Insert sad / angry / bewildered emoji.  The vision statement, by contrast pre-supposes that you will be tested at times but rather than taking your marbles and going home, you will have a written reminder that you created together that focuses on the whys and vision of your marriage.
Creating such a document takes courage. Before the “I dos” is the time to bare your souls, tell the truth and really listen to what your partner says. Before “Will you marry me?” or immediately following, is the time to brainstorm, to dream, to envision your life together. It is not that single question at all, but a series. “Do you see me? Do you know me? Who are you? What do you believe? What do you value? Do you have my back? Have you shown me your soft, white, warty underbelly?  Have I shown you mine?” And when the terror of being seen has gone away because you have left it all on the table, then together you create your vision statement, based on freedom, not fear. And when you hit those rocky patches, and you will, and you’ll be ready.
Emily Stulman Klein, founder of Live a Joyful Life (www.liveajoyfullife.com) is a trust and authenticity expert. She believes in a world where every woman is happy, brave, fulfilled and free and that life is magical when we live it authentically.  She works with perfect women masquerading as imperfect wives and moms to to reclaim their authentic selves and co-create lives of impact and meaning.  To book time with Emily or to get help with your pre-marital vision statement, email her at emily@liveajoyfullife.com.

Meet #HipNJ’s Matchmaker

Why ask a fortuneteller who you will marry when a matchmaker can introduce you to the lucky guy or gal?

#HipNJ’s Kelly Dillon sits down with New Jersey Matchmaker Julianne Cantarella to learn just how she was matched with her profession.

Formerly a therapist with a masters in social work, Cantarella’s work was quite different than it is today. She worked with people with infectious disease, AIDS patients and the mentally ill as a psychiatrist. But that ship had sailed after the birth of her second son, when the compass of her skills then pointed to a new direction: matchmaking.

Cantarella is a matchmaker, dating coach, relationship expert and owner of a private matchmaking practice in North Jersey. Her transition to the field of love was a natural one!

“I really was working with people and their relationships since I started out,” Cantarella said. “Men come to me, they hire me and I go out and conduct a collective search on their behalf.”

The power is truly in the matchmaker’s hands! She selects exactly who these suitors get to meet with.

Cantarella said matchmaking is her passion. She loves helping people find someone who is the right one sought out just for them!

Cue the hearts, but hold Cupid’s arrow, the New Jersey Matchmaker has got this one covered!

For more information, visit NewJerseysMatchmaker.com.

#HipNJWeddings: The Park Savoy

#HipNJ is home to some of the best wedding locations and vendors in the world, and #HipNJWeddings will introduce you to the top contacts in the industry.

#HipNJ’s Peter Falzo was recently married at The Park Savoy Estate in Florham Park, and we chose this elegant location to say “I Do” to our newest series!

The Park Savoy recently underwent a multi-million dollar renovation and restoration, and the mansion is a superb blend of contemporary glam and timeless architecture.  Brides can perfect their look in the “Great Gatsby”-inspired bridal suite, while guests can mingle on the sweeping patio or by the cozy fireplaces. The rich decor- coupled with grounds’ lush, sweeping landscapes- provides newly married couples the quintessential storybook setting for their fairytale day!  (Click here to view their photo gallery).

Peter toured the historic venue and learned how The Park Savoy was originally an enclave for the upper echelon of the population.  (The mansion was even a speakeasy at one point!)

Peter also spoke with the three owners- long-time #HipNJ business partners Barry Maurillo, Joe Maurillo and Vito Cucci, of Nanina’s in the Park fame. Over some of the Chef’s notable selections, the foursome chatted about the various events that the mansion hosts (weddings, parties, or corporate functions for 400) and why they take pride in hosting #HipNJ citizens’ most special occasions.

Joe Maurillo also spoke about a charity he and his business partners support, the Cheer Me Up Foundation, a non-profit organization that aids underprivileged and ill children.

For more information on the Park Savoy Estate, visit their website or call (973)-377-7100.